It’s good to talk.

One of the biggest things that concerned me when I found myself in the fog of hopelessness was telling other people. I was embarrassed that I had let myself get to this point & ashamed to admit that I couldn’t cope. I was also acutely aware that – compared to many – I have nothing to be depressed about; I have a son & husband who love me, loving parents, good friends, a roof over our heads & a job. I have over 1000 friends acquaintances on Facebook, yet I felt totally isolated & like I couldn’t speak to a single person about how I felt. Continue reading

#everycloudeveryday The joy of giving, but sometimes not receiving.

I love Christmas, I love birthdays, I love weddings & I love Christenings. In fact, I love any occasion where I get to buy someone a present. I love buying gifts & the joy of giving. I’d like to think I am a thoughtful gift-buyer & take time to decide on the perfect present for the person receiving it. Continue reading

Turns out maybe I can’t have it all…

I’m crying. Again. There have been a lot of tears in the last week over one subject in particular & it basically boils down to the fact that I can’t have it all. I’ll be honest, but I’m struggling to find an #everycloudeveryday in this situation & I don’t think there is an easy solution.

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Got Milk? My year-long journey to a diagnosis of something I’d never heard of….

When I was 21, I had size 34HH boobs (that got your attention didn’t it?!).

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They were ginormous beasts that made every day a nightmare. They started to grown when I was 11 & just didn’t seem to stop! I am only 5’4″ & was once asked by a guy in a bar how I managed to stand up – it was a fair question! I suffered constantly with backache, regularly got pervy comments from men, had a nightmare shopping for clothes that fitted (I was a size 12 on the bottom & a 22 on the top) & had to give up the sports I loved because I was a danger to myself & others & the pain in my back & shoulders for days after was agony – not to mention the bruises & blisters on my shoulders from having them (semi) contained in a sports bra! Continue reading

Project Happiness, aka: #everycloudeveryday

I have been neglecting my blog for a while. I’m sorry.

If I’m honest, I’ve been neglecting myself for a while too.

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I have lost my sparkle. I feel like I’m in a hole & I can’t get out. I am struggling to keep all of my ‘work’, ‘mother’, ‘wife’, ‘friends’, ‘family’ & ‘money’ plates spinning together & feel a bit overwhelmed by life in general. If I haven’ t been at work, I’ve been asleep & that doesn’t leave much time for anything else.

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My daily struggle with the modern world

Yesterday I became an Aunty. I found out on Facebook.

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I’m not estranged from my family, or living in a different time zone & actually get on well with my brother & sister-in-law, it’s just that the announcement was on Facebook before I’d had a chance to speak to my brother, so was the first thing I saw on my phone screen when I woke up. Obviously my first thought was ‘Oh my goodness, the baby has come early!’ But this was quickly followed by ‘I wish I’d been able to hear my brother tell me & hear his excitement instead of reading it on here’. It didn’t take the sparkle off the new arrival, but it did make me feel a bit sad. It’s just one example of Facebook being used in appropriately, in my opinion & I don’t like it!

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Too much month at the end of our money

So far this year I have read about the Government’s changes to the benefit system & also to the increase on tax for those in the 40% bracket with mild interest, but nothing more if I’m honest, because they don’t affect me. What has pissed me off sent me over the edge is the ruling today that politicians’ wages should increase of over 10% to ‘bring them in line’ after years of receiving no pay rise. This article in the Telegraph shows how the gap between the average worker & the average politician has widened to a huge void since 1972.

mps blog picI wanted to avoid getting into a political discussion on my blog & I applaud the fact that some politicians have rejected these pay increases (although as I write this, David Cameron had yet to commit either way), but this seems ridiculous to me – hundreds & thousands of people across the country would like an 11% pay rise this year, because they haven’t had one in recent years, but the reality is that that won’t happen, as the economy is taking baby steps out of the gloom, but still has a long way to go. Continue reading