Ditching sugar & taking control of feeling ‘eurgh’

I have, for a while now, been making an effort to listen to my body & especially take notice of how it reacts to the food I eat. I know that there are certain foods that would make me bloat up uncomfortably within an hour of eating them & there are some that have a slow burn, but I can wake up feeling like I’ve drunk 4 bottles of wine the following morning after eating them, even if I haven’t touched a drop! Whilst I have been off work, I had quite a bit of time to myself & decided to do some investigating into what could be causing this.

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I’m pregnant. I’m pregnant not. I’m pregnant. I’m pregnant not……

This week I joined the thousands of women (maybe even millions, I have no idea?) who are in the ‘am I pregnant?’ limbo land.

If I’m honest, it’s not that great a place to be, but at the same time it’s a wonderful place to be. It’s a place where you can browse pushchairs & maternity wear online & smile conspiratorially to pregnant ladies in the street. It’s also a place where you feel hopeless, just waiting, waiting, waiting for any sign of that angry crimson flush to come & steal your dreams away before you properly had chance to enjoy them. Continue reading

It’s good to talk.

One of the biggest things that concerned me when I found myself in the fog of hopelessness was telling other people. I was embarrassed that I had let myself get to this point & ashamed to admit that I couldn’t cope. I was also acutely aware that – compared to many – I have nothing to be depressed about; I have a son & husband who love me, loving parents, good friends, a roof over our heads & a job. I have over 1000 friends acquaintances on Facebook, yet I felt totally isolated & like I couldn’t speak to a single person about how I felt. Continue reading

Under starters orders & terrified.

I’m reluctant to tell anyone other than my closest friends we are ‘trying for a baby’ as I don’t want the extra stress that adds, but I’m writing about it here, as I desperately need to get my insecurities out. I have been forbidden unable to have another baby until now due to the medication I am taking (which you can read about here), but as the date we have been given the green light to try approaches, I am half excited, half terrified.  Continue reading

We finally have a plan & it feels good.

I suppose this is a follow on to my post entitled ‘Got Milk? My year long journey to a diagnosis of something I’d never heard of’ which you can read here. Briefly, I have PCOS & a tumour on my pituitary gland called a prolactinoma, which took a year to diagnose.  Continue reading

To NCT or not to NCT, that is the question.

Not that I have that many but, newly pregnant friends will often ask whether I recommend them going to NCT classes (just to clarify, I mean I don’t have very many pregnant friends!). I know it’s an issue of contention & I suppose, I have two answers. The first is ‘YES!’ with a caveat of ‘Maybe not’!

Allow me to elaborate: Continue reading

I will not be beaten this close to the end….

I’m on day 29 of 30 NaBloPoMo & I have been struck down, but refuse to be beaten. I have been feeling off it all week & for the last few weeks, it’s been creeping up on me, if I’m honest. This time of year is always super busy for me at work & I think I have probably been running on adrenaline for a little while now, as I finish off my meetings & do my end of year appraisal.

My appraisal was on Tuesday & I had got myself so hyped up over wanting to do well in it, that it literally felt like a physical weight had been lifted once it was over.

My body obviously picked up on this & my health has crashed & burned over the last few days & now I have a kidney infection. After going to the out of hours GP this evening, I am on bed-rest & antibiotics & – providing I am not sick again – will avoid being incarcerated at our local hospital.

It’s Little T’s birthday party on Sunday, so this is not ideal timing, but I’m hoping to be on the mend by then. This does mean Mr T is going to channel his inner Paul Holywood tomorrow & bake 36 fairy cakes, but I have every confidence in him.

Night night. I’m off to recover.