I fear I am becoming THAT mother!

Last year, Little T had only just turned 3 when he was in his first nativity play. I couldn’t actually attend, which was heartbreaking at the time, but I got over it in time.

The teacher explained (I didn’t ask her to) that the younger ones tend to get given the small parts & then – when they’re in the older year – they get a bigger part. Except this didn’t happen for Little T. Continue reading

Ditching sugar & taking control of feeling ‘eurgh’

I have, for a while now, been making an effort to listen to my body & especially take notice of how it reacts to the food I eat. I know that there are certain foods that would make me bloat up uncomfortably within an hour of eating them & there are some that have a slow burn, but I can wake up feeling like I’ve drunk 4 bottles of wine the following morning after eating them, even if I haven’t touched a drop! Whilst I have been off work, I had quite a bit of time to myself & decided to do some investigating into what could be causing this.

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I’m pregnant. I’m pregnant not. I’m pregnant. I’m pregnant not……

This week I joined the thousands of women (maybe even millions, I have no idea?) who are in the ‘am I pregnant?’ limbo land.

If I’m honest, it’s not that great a place to be, but at the same time it’s a wonderful place to be. It’s a place where you can browse pushchairs & maternity wear online & smile conspiratorially to pregnant ladies in the street. It’s also a place where you feel hopeless, just waiting, waiting, waiting for any sign of that angry crimson flush to come & steal your dreams away before you properly had chance to enjoy them. Continue reading

It’s good to talk.

One of the biggest things that concerned me when I found myself in the fog of hopelessness was telling other people. I was embarrassed that I had let myself get to this point & ashamed to admit that I couldn’t cope. I was also acutely aware that – compared to many – I have nothing to be depressed about; I have a son & husband who love me, loving parents, good friends, a roof over our heads & a job. I have over 1000 friends acquaintances on Facebook, yet I felt totally isolated & like I couldn’t speak to a single person about how I felt. Continue reading

Under starters orders & terrified.

I’m reluctant to tell anyone other than my closest friends we are ‘trying for a baby’ as I don’t want the extra stress that adds, but I’m writing about it here, as I desperately need to get my insecurities out. I have been forbidden unable to have another baby until now due to the medication I am taking (which you can read about here), but as the date we have been given the green light to try approaches, I am half excited, half terrified.  Continue reading

We finally have a plan & it feels good.

I suppose this is a follow on to my post entitled ‘Got Milk? My year long journey to a diagnosis of something I’d never heard of’ which you can read here. Briefly, I have PCOS & a tumour on my pituitary gland called a prolactinoma, which took a year to diagnose.  Continue reading